Do Muslims and Christians worship the same God? When a Muslim worships, are they worshipping the good God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ?

Aaron:

I’m not sure. I’ll start by saying no. They are not doing the same worship as us.

And I think this is fair, because a lot of Muslims will say the same thing in reverse. If you’re not worshipping God in the way the Quran says, and Mohammed, then you’re not really worshipping God either. We could look at it from gradations, spectrums of accuracy of worship. But yes, I don’t think it’s too controversial for a Christian to say what a Muslim would say anyway: I don’t think their worship is proper worship. In a way, I think they’re trying to worship. But I don’t think it’s proper. Maybe they succeed in some ways adoring the God of creation, but not in his fullest revelation. They would not be adoring him in his fullness.

Orthobro:

So, not adoring him in his fullness. Are they worshipping the same God? Is their worship an abomination before God? Or is their worship acceptable to God?

Aaron:

It has always seemed to me that a contrite heart he would not despise, regardless of our level of knowledge.

I should say true worshippers worship in spirit and in truth. But I think there are many people who are seeking the truth who worship in spirit, and who have a contrite heart, which he will not despise. They have not yet ascended to the realm of the true, but their spirits are longing for him. And I see in their prayers the desire for God.

I believe I have met the Lord in my heart and soul, and my body through the mysteries, and my whole being through his Spirit which fills me. And I get the sense that if a son or daughter that only knows how to pray in a Muslim key let their whole heart cry out to God, I cannot see him despising them.

I don’t know the exchange rate for worship, whether one thing is weighed as more acceptable or less. I do not believe worship is like coins somehow held in the coffers of heaven that are either brought in as functional currency or not.

I know my Master, who sits enthroned above the heavens, who lives forever to intercede. And the God who, before Sodom, spoke to his friend Abraham and said, “I will go down. I myself will know.” The God who, before Moses, said, “Their prayers have come before me. The prayers of my people Israel. I have seen their suffering. I know their suffering.” This Messiah who came to us in the flesh, who sits on the throne of Israel forever.

Of course he hears the prayers of every Muslim. And I believe he is inviting them through their own tradition into a deeper understanding of himself through his divine Son. All of God invites every Muslim to know him through the Sun of Righteousness. And their revelation is incomplete, and the manifestation of their religion is varied and tarries behind the highest things which Allah in their own language, and Yahweh in an ancient tongue, and God in the language of the West, is calling them to.

This is my response.

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I read in the psychological literature that those who love to give occupy both the top and the bottom strata of income categories. Those who love to give without ever receiving anything in return are people that other people want to work with. And a lot of times they’ll make 50% more than other top producers who are just pure salespeople. And if they’re in a position of leadership, they’ll make factors more. Impossibly more than just a salesperson, for they, through leading others, have found a way to multiply the good to such a degree that would be impossible for only one man.

And in a sense this is spiritual. And what I wrote about in “Christian Mystic,” You minister to me by Your Spirit. And so a man who is a leader of many participates with the Spirit, and because he does, many more are blessed beyond what any man can do. The sum is greater... the total is greater than the sum of its parts. The function of the organization.

So again here I am in this building stage and just grateful to God to sit across from Anthony today and give him the best possible advice. What a mercy. To sit across from a friend. And at the same time, I know that I had to make sure I scheduled our follow-up meeting right then and there. Because a giver without systems makes almost nothing. But a giver with systems and processes that are well understood, well outlined, well delineated, has a chance to of course earn their keep abundantly more, and then also lead.

Help me develop systems, God, that will facilitate my giving. Please grow me so that the heart which becomes on full display as You put me in positions of leadership is not a heart of clay or stone, but a heart of flesh that can be moved by You, and that can embrace many. And by Your Spirit, help something good happen in this earth.

Thank you for the simple act of consulting, and this business and opportunity You’ve given me. Have mercy on me and help me be very, very good at helping my friends. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Some might say, “Oh, how great it would be if we could go back to old times and just build houses we own on land as far as the eye can see.” But one of the problems with those old times is there wasn’t modern medicine. I’ve got six kids right now. Surely back in the day, not all of them would have made it. Perhaps not even my wife, perhaps not even myself, dying of some cough in winter cold. Trying to farm off the land, but if there’s a bad crop or a drought, we all starve. Or we have to find new hunting grounds. Depending on the period of time we’re talking about, those hunting grounds may have rival tribes. And if you’re part of settlement times, maybe even the Indians, which weren’t nice. Not all were nice. And the settlers weren’t always nice. It is the human condition that we inherit as a result of sin. Everyone always trying, everyone always learning best through fighting, it seems.

And yes, I myself even now am fighting. I am fighting to find a way to make my businesses work, to make them succeed. But I’m realizing that the fight isn’t for the business to succeed, but the fight is to not lose myself in this process. To not lose my center of gravity, which is the daily Bible reading which I have neglected for the better part of a week.

The confession of a Christian salesman is this: I am not yet perfect, nor am I even good at this. I find myself to be the runt of the litter, and the one who needs daily to remind himself of highest things, or else I am a faithless being. Faithless, and in a greater need than those around me. Perhaps that’s why I write. To satisfy, to fill in my weaknesses. I must write. I do not have the advantages of others. My mind runs a motor that I cannot even catch myself or pull the reins on entirely. And if it goes the wrong way, oh, this earth it eats. Like a lawnmower whose blade is detached and begins driving into the clay and sand beneath. It’s a dangerous thing when the mind goes off track. So is the case with my mind. So I must write. So I must read my Bible and pray. To redirect my mind and soul to the center of all things and not lose myself in the pursuit of entrepreneurial dreams.

I find myself in pain. Growing pains. But also the pain of the weight. I can feel the weight. I can feel the anxiety, the stress, the squeeze to make a sale so I can just have some more room to breathe. I can feel it, my brothers and my sisters. And as I was typing on my keyboard today, tears welled in my eyes trying to figure out how I’m going to manage all these things. And I felt this pain because I had not sat down and read my Bible recently. But as I’m looking at code and systems and processes being developed, I heard the voice of the Lord say, “Even through these things I will guide you. Even through these things I will love you. Even though it’s not the Bible, the words that you see on this screen, I will guide you through these processes and love you anyway.”

Why did he say that to me? And when did he say that to me? Those words only arrived and fell upon my soul when my heart cried out because it wanted to stop and read the Bible. Perhaps that’s the sign of growing in these growing pains. That when my world gets so distracted, when my soul gets so distracted, when the world begins to cave in on my awareness, all that is in me cries out for nearness with my God, who is the Logos, the connector, the orderer of all things, while at the same time being the center, the beginning, and the end. He who is my dream of dreams, my king of kings. The peace that only he can bring. Oh, like water to my soul. I miss him when I get stressed. And I long for him. And every mountaintop is defined by a life of nearness.

And so when the soul remembers its God, and wants to stop everything and only return to the sacred page so the mind can finally have its rest, the soul is in a perfect position to hear clearly from its father. Who can either reach out and say, “Indeed, come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” And in the reading of the sacred page impart his spirit upon my mind and soul and body and strength. Or as a father he has full permission to say, “Keep coding. Keep working on your processes. Keep working on your business today, and I will love you even through this. This will be today your act of worship to me.” The heart that cries out for the Father’s will is already free, and can receive from God its daily bread, whatever the form he so chooses. However, it is also a son’s right to say to their father, “Just give me five minutes alone in my word with you, and I will return to all of my business processes, Abba.” And a father’s delight to accommodate his son’s request. That is his right.

So I have been stressed today. And I needed to talk with God and recenter my soul. I did not take those five minutes, and I wish I did. But I did play our music while I worked, and I could feel his spirit carry me through stress. I worship you, Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, Messiah, with all my heart, with all my soul, my mind, and my strength. Make me a better man so I can help others. In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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I give you no prosperity gospel. I give you no promise other than what Christ himself promised us. Which is that through Christ, through what he did in his body on the cross, and by the great power of God through which he was risen from the dead, according to his own will and the will of the Father by the power of the Holy Spirit, I can tell you Christ made a way for us to embrace the Father and die in peace.

At the end of our days, we don’t say, “Oh man, I wasted my life. Oh man, I wish I had some more time.” At the end of our days, following our Master, we can say, “It is finished.” From heaven’s eyes, it is finished. We have this promise in Christ. That our lives can be lives full of meaning, even if it’s not a life of economic prosperity. Our lives are lives full of meaning because the Master has given us himself and opened up the door to all of eternity and the Father God who we get to see face to face in Christ.

I preach to you no prosperity gospel, but the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. That you can actually, at the end of your days, rest in every peace knowing that the mission of your life is well accomplished, because you have lived each day in your Father’s love, following his voice wherever it leads. This is the freedom, the superpower that gives energy to life, full of power and the Holy Spirit that Christ revealed in his desert, fully embracing his Father. I give you no prosperity gospel, but that gospel.

And when a man is set free to die well, knowing that at the end of his days, the heavens will open and say, “You are my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. You are my beloved daughter in whom I am well pleased.” And the voice that raises you from the dead is the voice of your dear Jesus, who says to you, “Son,” says to you, “Daughter,” says to you, “Honey, it’s time to get up.”

You have this security in Christ that your life can be a great life in God, regardless of how much money you make, regardless of what happens, regardless of your physical health, regardless of any circumstance. Sickness or health, riches or poverty, angels or demons, life nor death, nothing can separate you from this promise in Christ. That you can indeed live a life where you are fully embraced by the Father and you fully embrace him back. And you can have your heart set on fire to love the world in every way. And then in one month, two months, three months, that life can be ended. But it’s okay. Because you are in your Father, and your Father is in you. You are in Christ, and Christ is in you.

Does this sound gloomy to you? Or is it your glory? This is what he revealed for us in his desert, my friends. You embrace a life in God regardless of what it brings, and it gives you every freedom and power in the Holy Spirit to finally be everything he’s called you to be. I can promise no prosperity for you, but I can echo the promise of God to you: He will be your God, you will be his people, his sons, his daughters.

And then when you live in this freedom, what is there that you cannot do? For you do not worry about money. You do not worry about material things. But your eyes are focused always on fellowship with your Father and the mission that this life brings. I give you no prosperity gospel, but I want to show you a vision of life that Christ himself cast for us in his desert wilderness, and the vision which, after he fully embraced and showed us how to embrace, he was filled with power in the Holy Spirit, began to preach, and he changed the world.

If I am asked who would I like to be, I will say again and again, “The Christ.” Versus any famous man, any rich man, any entrepreneur in history. “Make me like Jesus. Give me this liberty or give me death.” I would not love a life where I’m not made like him day after day. For the one thing that I pursue is likeness to my Maker. And what I have found out, my friends, and what I’m going to preach for the rest of my life, is that if we all do this, we’ll make the world a better place. Our economies will flourish. This is called seeking first the kingdom and his righteousness. The power through which all things are made new. Maranatha.

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The setting is imagined. Samuel is speaking with a Catholic priest named Fr. Michael.

Samuel: Why would I pray to the saints in the way of your popular piety? To the saints in this way and not Christ? As if one should only speak with their mother and not their father directly? This seems a foreign thing.

Fr. Michael steps back and is off-kilter. He has many memories—precious memories—of asking the saints for their help, for their prayers, and many miracles have happened in his life, the lives of his flock, and the lives of those he loves after these prayers were uttered—with earnest and faith and gratitude and love.

“How can he discount the great cloud of witnesses?” Michael asks himself.

Samuel: The affront that you feel in your spirit, the… the taken aback which you sense… you need to look at and recalibrate. This is not disrespect. I have prayed my entire life to my Master, and my Master alone. I have learned my entire lifelong, to this day, how to commune directly with my Lord and my God in Jesus Christ—my High Priest, my intermediary, my intercessor.

I have prayed to the Lord in my heart, and with my voice and with my song—never-ending and never another. But you would say to me that I should replace some of those prayers with prayers to saints? Who are my brothers, who are my fathers, but are not in themselves God?

Fr. Michael: “Well, no—don’t pray to saints. Ask them for their prayers.”

Samuel: “Why?”

A Son’s Right

I need no intermediary. If I have direct access to Christ, and in Christ the Father—whom He reveals by the power of the Holy Spirit made manifest in my life and soul—why should I ask for another saint’s prayers, if directly I go to the Lord? Only He can heal me. Only He can receive what I am and transform me while still making me His own, without robbing me of my own personality.

He is God. He is God; He is not a man. He takes nothing from me; He only gives, while making me entirely what I am meant to be. He is everything and more. He is everything and more. All the mysteries and treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Him, and in Him alone. How can I possibly put someone in between… someone in between He and I? When my entire life I have trained tirelessly as a Protestant to pray to Him alone and hear His voice—not the voice of another. For the sheep recognize the voice of their master and come when he calls.

It is a son’s joy and right to have the capacity in him to recognize the voice of his father - and smile. And it is a son’s right to train after his new birth and through both his new birth and efforts to become likened to his Father—until their wills match and his Father’s voice is as recognizable as his very own self.

I need no intermediary, for Christ Himself has done this work. And it is a glorious mercy.

The Mother

However, Fr. Michael, I do not want to say that there is no benefit in the great choir and chorus of saints. For to be a son is to recognize the voice of the Father, and also the Mother—Mother Church—through which, indeed, Christ has made me.

I am a son of God and I am a son of the Church. A son of history. And because of this, I can recognize my mother’s voice in the sounds of the saints: in their writings, in the liturgies, in the choirs, in the poetry, and the acts of extreme kindness and mercy; in just war theology; and in the everlasting prayer, “Christ, have mercy on me.” I can recognize the voice of my mother, my brothers, my sisters, the saints.

Catholic and Orthodox, West and East, universal… resounding through the corridors of eternity and time. And those who have died are not dead but are alive in God—still singing now with the angels and the choirs of heaven, and indeed praying before the throne, beneath the throne of grace and mercy, that the Lord would come and make Himself… make His kingdom manifest in the earth. I can see these things.

I understand that the saints are alive in God. They can be nowhere else, for we all partake of one bread, one body, one Eucharist. And those who are in Christ are alive forever. Eternal life is their lot. Eternal life is their inheritance. And deification is their eternal destiny—in the light and the mercy and the love of God.

Sea of Glass and Cloud of Witnesses

Still, my brothers—this great ocean of witnesses, this great cloud of witnesses—parts when I enter the throne room. They would not stand between me and God. They would not stand between me and the Master, who alone sits on the throne, who alone is worthy to take the scroll and open the seals. They would not stand between the Lamb who was slain and His reward.

Which is me. Which is my heart.

The reward of His suffering. The saints would not stand between Him and His reward, for He is an all-consuming fire. Nor would they rob me of my God. Nor would they rob me of His voice.

This is why it says, even in your own theologies, that Mary’s whole job is to redirect. Someone prays to Mary; she is supposed to redirect them to the Christ. But many never go to the Christ—they only stop at Mary. This is a grave tragedy. It is not piety; it is a loss. It is a loss of fellowship with the only God we can ever know. And it has led to many pains—like the Mediatrix, and an abuse of the title Theotokos. It has led to many pains. Not to damnation, but to pains, I would say.

This is my own sense, that I believe comes to me by means of the Holy Spirit. Not everyone shares my view that these sins do not lead to death, but I believe they are wrong.

They Part the Sea

Fr. Michael, I do not discount the great blessing of Mother Church, the great mercy of the choir of saints. But their role is not as an intermediary. Their role is to part the sea for me—and hold the waters back—so I can make my exodus every day, in my own life and mind and heart, and re-approach the throne of grace.

They part the sea for me. They are the means by which God has brought me here, and the means by which He has decided to open up the world before me—that I can walk through it on a straight and narrow road and indeed enter into His glory.

Now to the Saints

My brothers and my sisters, without you I could have never seen His face. I am so grateful for you, O choir of mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters and saints. My heart is open to you and my whole soul rejoices in God my Savior because of you.

I am your son, and I take it as my responsibility to point all that I can to Mother Church and Christ Himself, who gives us being.

Now Returning

I am no enemy of my history and the souls that are alive in God, through which He has formed me. But at the same time, because of them, I have access to the Father. If I pray to them, I simply thank them. If I speak about them, I glory in their hard work and ministry.

Their role is to hold back the darkness. Hold back the waters of the sea.

Lived Experience

And as I see in my own life, when I read the words of Maximus, of Palamas, of Augustine—they confirm me in my madness. For I have become, in my own spiritual experience, like lightning—and seen many worlds all colliding in my own soul, and then re-gathered before the Maker.

I have seen in my own spiritual experience that beauty ever ancient, ever new—but I would not have had those words to describe the restless heart which only rests in Him, if it were not for my father Augustine. And I can see in the whole created order the sense made through the Incarnation, which I could not understand by the power of the Logos if it were not for Maximus making sense of Dionysius—if it were not for Maximus making plain the logoi in many things.

My fathers and my mothers, my brothers and my sisters, do hold back the sea for me to see my Master. And as I pass by them, they confirm me in my madness—hand on my shoulder—and give me many gifts in my arms. Many books. Many precious things. Frankincense. Myrrh. And gifts of gold.

That I can carry in my being, that become part of my soul. And so when I finally arrive face to face with my God, I am recognizable to Him. I am made more like Him by passing through this great cloud of witnesses who made for me an open road—this great cloud of witnesses which confirm me in my madness and let me know that I am not alone.

But I am in His home—we are all in His home, not the home of another. I exist, we exist, in His love because we exist in the world, in the cosmos, in His cosmos. And I exist, we exist, because we live forever in His home—in the Church, in the Church which has birthed me, and all who surround me in my generation, by definition. And I recognize my Father in Christ and my Mother in the Church.

And for these reasons, I do not ask the saints for their prayers.

Natural Communion without Barriers

I do—often—feel a special communion with the saints, and that they do somehow help me, and I am not closed off to their ministry. Especially while reading a saint’s writings, I naturally sense a request, a prayer rising to, not through, my friends who are alive in God, asking them to teach me and show me the things Christ made plain to them; and like incense the request, rising from the heart, comes to the voice; and I can sense a response from all who are alive in God. And this is a mercy from the choir of saints, and some in their specificity.

This feels natural to me, and takes nothing from Christ’s ministry in my soul, for I have already asked the Master for His guidance. What can a son do but ask his Father and Mother for advice? His being, his body, is derivative from both. Strange it would be, to never speak to the Father and see mother as intermediary… a good mother would avoid this at all costs.

Fr. Michael: “…these analogies and confessions echo…an ancient way of doing things, certainly.”

For my reader,
I share these things because I want the very best life for you;
the very best life in Christ.

This is my prayer
and these;
these are my Confessions.

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All who are truly Christian fear this phrase...I fear this phrase…This reaction in me, I know, is not meant to do away with the sacraments, but says that the sacraments as ritual without knowing Jesus are dangerous…worse than filthy rags, because they are now the worst deception — as is the case with all outward forms of Christian-Spiritual devoid of inward presence.

Reminds me of this sullied Monk in a Cave.

J: All ritual, all cadence, devoid of His radical dwelling, is a lie that puts us into the sleep of death. Never waking. Why do you sleep? 
M: Why wake when we are surrounded by so many pretty things?
J: But friend, it’s cold... you must wake and become warmed by the fire. 
M: No. I have my red velvet and icons for warmth. 
J: No, friend, without the fire, the icons grow cold, and you sleep now never to wake. 
M: Be silent, you know-nothing. Don’t you know what the Fathers say? You useless evangelical, you useless charismatic, you useless modern whose phronema rejects all things holy in Christ our Lord. 
J: But friend — 
M: Away with you! Depart from me.
And so Jesus left the man to his prayers, never to be seen again. As he left he wept on the side of the mountain, and turned his attention to the villages.

This is the Monk in ME, for nearly a decade, and still daily.

Christ have mercy.

And then the Master ran to his Son in the cave, and gave him life.

*Image from the Divine Liturgy of John Chrysostom

For my reader,
I share these things because I want the very best life for you;
the very best life in Christ.

This is my prayer
and these;
these are my Confessions.

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It can’t be the voice all the time, or else it would just be mind control. Maybe that is a potential tell… just ourselves, and that’s ok.

Still, a father is never far off. Not while on a mountain climb — depends on where you are, in life, in God, in body. If on a mountain, upwards climbing, you should be able to hear his voice and see his frame close by, guiding you up safely, and the sound of his tools and boots colliding with the rockface.

If in the fields, and at home in peaceful places, perhaps the sound of his humming while at his work in the distance, and the sound of his steps as he approaches to bring you what he has crafted.

Perhaps something like his approval and hand on your shoulder when you show him what you’ve made.

The voice at all times would make it impossible for God to one day say to us, “Truly, my boy, you are like me.” For a voice superimposing, at all times, negates the ability of the being to become as their father is in their own freedom.

To be recognizable to the father is to have become like him, more and more, over time — yes, in response to his prompting and mercy and providence, but also of your own accord. There is a son to be loved, and that son, to be himself, must choose love and, in love, to grow.

If the voice consumes us entirely, we cannot be a self, let alone our own selves, and it is impossible to love what is not real.

So a father will speak to you, and help you, but not all the time. You can become like dad and think dad’s thoughts on your own, over time. But yes, your father can always break in. But the drama and the dramatic intrusion is supposed to fade as you grow — this is natural. The simple cooperation is the Christian goal. The synergy in all love and the theotic state, progressing into a maturity that needs no spectacle.

His Child

To hear the voice all the time would be to remove our ability to become more fully his sons and daughters. To act as if he could never speak, even in dramatic and drastic ways, is to remove his ability to be our father.

Nearness

To be near to God is not to hear him all the time, but to be like him and sound like him yourself, even in your interior, for there will come a day when there is nowhere which the light does not touch, nowhere that you have not been made in his likeness, no hidden way in you, for all that you are, all that you have, is in him made fully alive.

Glory Greater Than Moses

Some say to be near to God is to hear him all the time. This is not the case. To be near to God is to be like him — your will is now the same as his.

Moses spoke to God face to face, but Christ came that we would be made like him in all things. This is a greater glory.

Our faces may not shine due to a good exposure to his glory which is exterior… for the Lord now comes interior, into the holy of holies in the soul… and our hearts shall burn, and so the being in his entirety is set ablaze. Come and take your seat upon the throne of our heart, oh King of Kings, oh Ancient of Days.

Make us like you, Abba.

For my reader,
I share these things because I want the very best life for you;
the very best life in Christ.

This is my prayer
and these;
these are my Confessions.

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Patriarch Bartholomew approved a document called “For the Life of the World” which incorporates liberal and temporal (zeitgeist) nonsense regarding migration, eliding asylum seekers, economic upward-suasion seekers, and general knockers on western doors as morally identical — applying the Christian standard not only to welcome all equally and universally but also offer free healthcare and retirement pensions to all. What madness. This publication was revealed to be senseless not more than 4 years after its release. 25 million migrants later, and the system near bankruptcy, Trump was re-elected. They enjoyed a president who had lost his faculties, and believed him virtuous because he did not offend their “communication-based” progressive sensibilities — a pacification and spell-casting effective against the sensitive mind even without action for the poor, or afflicted, and which ignores what is actually happening at the open border, the increase in crime and suffering, and the destruction of the economy. Their pacification beneath their anesthetic president nearly brought us to ruin… but they were not offended by his speech, so his administration was glorious and Christian? Pseudo-Christian madness.

Orthodoxy as a harbor, as well as a charism for the voice, has lost its luster. What can a man do when the spirit of newness is revealed as the dearest self, and the spirit of the tradition as the same? Nietzsche’s lament helps us not, for his lament is the dearest self par excellence… under Nietzsche there is nothing but the spinning wheel of the self and therefore nothing at all. Credo discerned these things and relies upon God entirely, but what does this mean in practical parlance? Seraphim spoke of a loving heart as the way to hear God. Institutions betray, but they do relay what is true. Institutions standardize knowledge and make the world intelligible and corrupt — at one and the same time. The body seems the same — living while dying, bringing life and death to every surrounding.

What is man? What is man or life that life would preserve us? That we would persist? Man thinks himself precious, which is a powerful survival instinct and self-aggrandizing, unless it’s true — then it’s just true. But what makes man, man? What makes him precious as he is? Is it his achievement? His potential? Is it innate in him and “just so” regardless of how one acts? No. Man is human, and can become less man as he becomes less humane, less precious, less worth preserving, and more deserving of being snuffed out.

What is man? Who gets to do the choosing as to what is humane and what is banal and what is profane? Only God, some say, but the charismatic witness has fallen, and the ecumenical patriarch the same… yet who am I to judge? What gives me the right to divide light from dark and assign to each creature their name?

A master of spin and compromise am I. Greater than Todd White, more powerful and terrible to behold if given the spotlight. Like my heroes I would take this energy in an attempt and desire to do good, and it would find in me this hope and use it against me, and blind me, and bind me in darkness and make me a servant of foul things… a ring of power which all of us deceives… fame… special charisms… living authorities… like Gandalf and Galadriel I see into this future because you, oh Spirit of Life, have made me see.

Yet, Spirit of Life, do you not give us being? Do you not call us to pursue life and the common good? Is it possible to know the truth and by the powers of the mind ascertain proper things, divisions, decisions, and viewing frames? Does our mind mirror your infinity, and therefore is it possible to know true things because we, of like mind, can see what you see, God? Oh God, help us see. How can we have confidence in what we see? We who want to see rightly. Perhaps we trust in you and say “God help me,” and then we move about our day and immediately notice that others who pray the same prayer disagree. They read the same Bible, or another sacred book — does not matter. Not all agree, and it is ultimately between the soul and its maker as to whether the man hears or sees anything real.

Yet what is real? How can we know? Do we just practice rather blindly and then hope? How then do we resist people who press against us and seek to rob us, or move us within their own vision, if our vision cannot be known, and if we cannot have confidence in what we see? The sacred text is an open book and freely one may interpret. Hart takes universalism as the obvious end, and so does Gregory of Nyssa, yet the tradition disagrees.

Frankly, God, I am tired. I believe that truth may be real, and probably is, but because of these issues, one needs to be convinced. For those who say that the Spirit does the work, they have obviously never seen a spirit of death at work in a populace. There are always spirits at work, and the spirit of a politician, the voice of him and the voice of a movement, can move mountains and throw stones into the sea… influence is what is act-ually real, and powers of persuasion…

But what gives persuasion its power? Influence its ability to en-act change? Put bodies in motion, in Aristotelian and Aquinas’ ways? Naturally, you, oh Being, oh Spirit of Life. Chiefly, belief in you — belief that we can know the truth — is what gives persuasion its power, and influence its ability to act upon spatial bodies, and change psychical and soulish states. The Logos, powerful words energized by the truth, has always had the power to bind and loose, to forgive sins, to bind the strongman, and set the captives free.

Because of belief in you, man speaks, and man hears, and is persuaded one way or another. The logos of one speaks to the logos of another in regards to the Logos which is higher, but which each can know according to their own interior. Because this is the case, I must become a master of rhetoric.

What to say now of my fallen stars? Why become a master of rhetoric? Ought I influence to make myself free of influence? To save myself from being pressed against by pressing against? My salvation is to be found in me becoming an overwhelming force? No. This is deceit.

I ought to become a master of rhetoric because I see its power, and I do desire the good. But I do not pretend that the good and I are commensurate. Perhaps I should become a master of rhetoric to begin deep dialogue. Perhaps to try to win some, and to be open to being won myself… perhaps as an act of obedience, an act of mercy, even to my own self. Perhaps as a way of coping with the fallen stars around me, all those who were to be my light tearing me apart — from my Tradition poem… an articulation of past things and future prophecy fulfilled… why, God?

How to deal with fallen stars and the problem of knowing? Logos begets logos, which means logikos is possible and natural. It is unnatural to be a-logos or irrational or insane. Therefore, when one deviates from the truth, it is a passion that they need healing from — a sickness. Why are some of varying opinions? Some sicknesses cause death; others, disease. What makes me free of illness? I am not sure. Let’s sit here and reason together.

For my reader,
I share these things because I want the very best life for you;
the very best life in Christ.

This is my prayer
and these;
these are my Confessions.

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“My will be done” is a problem not because it succeeds in isolating one’s own internal Will, but because the inward look makes it virtually impossible to receive a Will which is higher, or a vision which is higher, a good word which can come from the outside — apart from special intervening graces.

Being, therefore, deceived, the inward Will thinks that it is self-governing but may indeed receive the will of another which is lower — that being Satan and the demons. One thinks himself free because he rejected God, but in the end served neither himself nor freedom, but the will of another, which is more debased in nature.

It may not be possible to know which one you are doing at a given time, in yourself (Thy will vs My will), but it seems possible to discern which disposition you practice.

Who will save me from this body of death?

Master, give me eyes so I can see.

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To love wisdom is not to control it 
To love wisdom is to adore it
To love one must in some way understand 

To understand, one must in some way participate with the focus of their gaze
To focus is to be focal in one’s own being 
To be in God is to be - in Love 

To be in God’s Love is to be loved by being
To be loved by being there is a lover, and a beloved, and the love in between 
To exist is to be filled with dignity so God can love you, all of you, simply 

This in a way is divine simplicity 
This in a way is essence and energies 

How can we be in God 
- both grounded, growing, and lifted - 
while also being ourselves into eternity? 

God knows - not philosophy

To love wisdom is not to control Him
The love of God is fundamentally a mystery 
To love God is not to control him, but to be, loved by Him

This is what Philosophy means...some of what it means.

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the very best life in Christ.

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these are my Confessions.

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After much study, I don’t know what I believe about the soul, nor do I know what the soul is.

The metaphysics of the soul are to me, indeed, impossible to discern with confidence or certainty…at least at this time…but the relationship…is not impossible to discern…

The relationship is not impossible to grasp, for you have made yourself graspable by me oh God, in the way of your divine embrace -

Because of the love 
made manifest in your incarnation,  
and the creation 
which was just a preamble 
of what you would do 
in the earth 
oh Jesus Christ 
King of Kings.

You are flesh and bone and so I, oh God, can lay eyes on you.

You are blood and water, so I can kneel before you, and pour out my life, like oil, like sweet perfume.

You entered into death, and so I can live in you, and you in me, Spirit of all majesty.

Is it that the soul is the form of the body and I am found within? And this after death persists? Or is it that you oh infinite God, somehow, in your divine mystery hold my face even as some say I embrace the grave?

For I embrace no grave, when I pass from life to life. This is a facade. This is fantasy. This is imaginary and not real. What happens in the world of the actual is that I pass into no death. I change from no place, but I remain in the love, and the vision, and the embrace of God.

For eternal life is now in you, Christ Jesus. Through your faithfulness to me, this has been achieved. And indeed as you have promised me, through my faith in you this has been actualized. And it works in me, to make me alive, it is not dead.

I may not yet know, or understand, or have the capacity to fathom the immaterial and immortal and spiritual aspect in man, but I rest in you. May the pursuit of one kind of knowledge, for now, cease…for the end of all knowledge is the mystery of your divine embrace. It is enough.

Citation: Image from this instagram account:

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the very best life in Christ.

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Our whole being rejoices in God our Savior…our bodies and entire immaterial souls can be immersed in His goodness and strangely warmed without exhausting even an ounce of His tender mercy…like garments of light. Selah.

Be near to us God, Be ever near

We open our hands, and we take a deep breath, and we ask the Spirit to fill us. This is a common practice that calms the soul through the body and helps the whole being focus… and receive; a breath before a dive, a double breath before rest or after a good cry, a breath when we step outside in spring and smell flowers on the breeze. Our body was made to breathe in and breathe out beauty, since the first day, your presence we were made to breathe. Yet no technique summons you; in our breathing we are just…preparing…just watchful, and master you are good to open our eyes, good to oblige, faithful to reveal our call as response to your own summoning, your own asking us for a drink. Selah.

When we establish a ritual of breath control, watchfulness, and inviting the Spirit (ἐπίκλησις), or a personal liturgy of somatic cultivation, we may experience certain sensations in body. We know that these are physiological and natural things happening when we practice controlled breathing. But when one does so in the way of invitation and intimacy with God, one may occasionally feel something like water poured down upon their head and shoulders, or they may feel a weight like a blanket rest upon them, or the body may begin to feel strangely warm. However, to say that these bodily sensed things, which are indeed happening to the body, are certainly psychosomatic, or facade, is incorrect.

Imagine: you stand outside, in winter cold, and watch a father take off his sweater, which his body has warmed, and wrap his daughter in his sweater and arms, and carry her to another place inside. Now imagine you say, “isn’t that precious. Her daddy made her warm.” And another says to you, “you fool. The father did not warm her, the warmth is coming by means of the sweater alone.” “What a strange thing” we all would say, because we know that the person, the body which inhabited those clothes, and his present action to wrap her and hold her, is the reason, the only reason, why these clothes are warm, and are able to communicate warmth to the one he loves.

How much more then is this the case when the father in question, who is communicating warmth to us, who is energizing our being, and who we experience even in body, who comes to embrace us totally, is none other than the Spirit of warmth and life itself—the one who called creation forth, and made the sun to reflect His Nature, His own ‘physi-ologi’?

All of creation, in that sense, is like the sweater, which we are wrapped in, so we can truly feel the Father’s warmth—but then there is the Spirit, the Father’s hands which are not limited to the sweater’s sleeves…communing with God of God truly.

Recall the father. We know that his sweater moves to wrap his daughter in her cold. Why? Because it is the will of the father behind those clothes—his will causes his body to move towards her; and, as the clothes are wrapped around her entire being, she is warmed. In many ways friends, the spiritual life is simple.

The father intends, desires, and wills to warm his little one in her loneliness, and so he moves, and his intention is accomplished through his embrace, which he makes sure she can feel as he warms her and rubs her back and chest. Think of it. If earthly parents, who are evil (as the Lord says), can enact such small gestures of kindness and embrace, how much more can our Heavenly Father truly wrap us in His arms and presence and friction ensure that we are indeed warmed by His nearness? Oh how great a mystery.

The father wraps both his very own self and his clothes around his beloved. And what is the effect? She is warmed. In her whole being, she can feel his warmth. Notice that this sensation is happening at the rate of her own body, not his capacity—he has a big sweater, and she’s swimming in it.

It is the same with us in spiritual things - with our encounters with God our Father in Spirit. Our whole being rejoices in God our Savior…our bodies and entire immaterial souls can be immersed in His goodness and strangely warmed without exhausting even an ounce of His tender mercy…like garments of light. Selah.

What are the clothes? What is this sweater in our analogy? The clothes represent ‘what we feel’ in mind and body when God embraces us. What does this mean? The warming you may indeed feel is true warming from your Father. The cooling true cooling. The calming, true calming. The carrying, truly lifted up to higher places. The body was made to feel His nearness.

Return with me now to breathing and our ἐπίκλησις. Do not be surprised if you experience a warming physiology, or the other proper sensations which you may experience in body when in this state—they were made to be evidence of Him, evidence of His presence. Still, their lack is not evidence of His absence. These things are important to know. Nevertheless, we need a solid guide when our minds become confused by certain changes, and let this suffice: You are made in body so that you have the capacity to feel His embrace in body, and you are made as spirit so you have the capacity to feel as He embraces your spirit, in spirit. Because you are both, He embraces you in both aspects of your being, and their effects can be felt, one in the other, and influence the state, one of the other, of your entire being.

Here we focus on the body. This helps us understand what it means to say that we were made as a living soul, “a spirit uttering speech,” in His “image and likeness,” for “man has the ability to know and love his maker,” and “embrace his maker” and experience his maker through this divine embrace, indeed, in body. Your body should respond to His nearness.

It is Sunday morning, a good time to start or continue a practice. So, come now, breathe this morning, and welcome Him, enact your own ἐπίκλησις—invitation of the Spirit. Watch for Him, watch your whole being; Reach to Him out at home or in service, and certainly in worship, and with your spirit embrace Him; embrace Him back, he who holds you, and carries you from where you are to another place inside. Wrap your arms around Him, in Spirit, there is more to you that He wants to show you: you can reach out and touch Him in ways more profound than if only in body, but do not be surprised if you feel His embrace in body, because He holds you. Wesley called his experience of these things, ‘a heart strangely warm.’

He is right here. He is right here. You are embracing us God. You are warming us God. Let us reach back to you. Help us hold you God. Help us bless you. Come now my friends; let us embrace Him together, as best as we can.

Κύριε ἐλέησον
Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy on us
Your children

Jesus Christ, you are the One we experience through what we feel in mind and body.

For my reader,
I share these things because I want the very best life for you;
the very best life in Christ.

This is my prayer
and these;
these are my Confessions.

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EZEKIEL: How could you possibly know? You just got here.

JOHN (rubbing his bearded chin): Well... how long have I been here?

ISAIAH (from the back): About two and a half years, while we have been here many, many more!

JOHN: Well, I’m telling you, and you—he’s on the way, and he’s more than any of us could have hoped. He became a man. I am his cousin. My aunt is his mom.

EZEKIEL: Ok. Now we know you’re crazy. The one that I saw in my visions had legs of burnished bronze.

ISAIAH: The one I saw, I could barely speak. The angel had to help me get some words out—not without some intense pain. Daniel, you too. You saw the same?

DANIEL: I did. He was like the Son of Man, but just his form. He was doing more than man can do—more than man can ever hope to do. High Father, what do you say? You saw him most.

ABRAHAM (pausing): Hmmm. You say he was like a man?

JOHN: No. He came as a man, he is born of a woman—flesh and blood.

ABRAHAM (recalling distant memory): ‘Is anything impossible for God?’ That’s what he said when he was at my tent... and then as you know, you all know, Sarah was with child. He even said when it would happen. This was before he destroyed the cities, mind you. Is anything too hard for God?

ABRAHAM (turning to John): Tell me, what was your name, John - right?

JOHN: Yes Father, John.

ABRAHAM (putting his hand on John’s shoulder with a smile): Good, John. Tell me John. Did a messenger come and announce his arrival? When he came to me there were two others.

JACOB (from the side): I only wrestled one.

ABRAHAM (slightly frustrated smile): Ok, ok - Jacob, I know, but there were three with me, and two went into the cities. Son, John, was it announced?

JOHN: Yes, Father. The angel Gabriel came to us...

Daniel fell on his knees and began to weep.

JOHN (continuing): Gabriel came to my father in the temple and told my father that my mother Elizabeth would be with child. She was very old...

ABRAHAM (smiling, holding John’s face): I’m sure she was. Tell me more.

JOHN: My father did not believe.

Abraham laughed.

JOHN (continuing): My father said Gabriel was offended, and then told him he was going to be mute until I was born and it was time for my naming.

ABRAHAM: And was he so mute?

JOHN: Entirely! Ha, he had to write everything down for almost a year. Then, immediately when it was asked what my name would be, he said ‘John’ and everyone was amazed. But Father, you must know, Gabriel came to us and I was so born of a woman long barren, and this same angel came to Messiah’s mother.

At the sound of Messiah, at the edge of the circle which had been gathered, to the right of Daniel who still sat there weeping—Moses stood to his feet.

MOSES (whispering): Messiah...

MOSES: What was he like, boy? What is he like?

JOHN: He speaks as one who has authority, Father.

MOSES: And not like the scribes?

JOHN: Well, actually yes. He and I..umm…we had run-ins with some scribes, more than once. Which is one reason why I’m here—ha. But yes, he spoke not like them. His words were different.

MOSES: He has done it. The Lord has done it. He has put his words in this man’s mouth.

JOHN: More than this, Father - more than a man. He is the Lamb who has come to take away the sins of the world. He is the one from everlasting which you saw, Daniel. He is the one you met, Abraham. He is the one—who has come to take away all the sins of the world and restore what was lost.

DAVID: This is impossible for a man. Only God can forgive sins. Only God, my God... he promised that he would, himself.

EZEKIEL: Yes. And that He would be the shepherd of Israel. But in a man?

JOHN: He is the one, the one and the same.

Abraham paused.

MOSES (to Abraham): Can it be? Can it be him? The one I saw, now twice?

ABRAHAM: I do not know, son. How can I know? I am here with you all, but as uncertain as anyone.

Then, the earth began to shake, and they could hear a voice echoing, and the walls of the place within which they had stayed began to bow, and the gate which kept them in, and through which they dared not travel, not knowing what was on the other side, began to glow red hot—like burnished bronze.

All were silent, terrified. This had not happened before, nothing like this. All began to look around for a place to shelter, all but two.

They were motionless, and had been for some time. Neither moving nor speaking, they had not spoken since time before memory—longer than any could remember.

They embraced each as they arrived, but then always returned to their seats, in silence, waiting. Something both harrowing and comforting about their presence—the silence about them, soothing. All were afraid; they remained motionless. The mad scramble was interrupted with the sound of steps, which grew louder and louder by the second.

The steps continued, and began to echo through the corridors of eternity and time, reaching finally to their ears. Eyes widening, the man let out a scream, and wailed, weeping—

ADAM (crying out): Ahhhh…my God…I recognize you…I recognize the sound of your steps! Eve, Eve it’s Him!

Adam turned to look for Eve at her seat, but she was already running. Immediately, Adam ran, oh Adam ran after her as fast as he could.

EVE: Abba! I will not hide again, I will not hide again! Abba! It’s Him! It’s the Maker! Elohim! Adonai! Master!! Master!!

At this the men were amazed, and all made way for Eve to run through the crowd towards the gate, with Adam close behind.

ADAM: What are you waiting for my sons? My daughters? It’s Him!

Shaken awake, and filled with courage, all ran after their Father and Mother towards the gate which was now melting beneath the heat.

As the first pair approached, within 50 feet, they could do so no longer, for the light of the world, the light of every world had drawn near, and the heat was so intense none could bear it.

In an instant, the light subsided, and everything cooled. Their eyes adjusted, and beneath the cloak of radiance they saw bare feet, and then up through the body the entire being was revealed, standing right outside the gates now in shambles, still glowing.

Then he entered in.

Jesus looked down at the gate, seeing the pair waiting for him, and smiled as he crossed the threshold.

ABRAHAM (to Moses): That’s him…he smiled like that when Sarah laughed. It’s him.

Immediately, Eve dove into Jesus’s side and wept and would not let go, and Adam came to the other side and could not control his weeping.

EVE: Abba! Abba! I missed you. I am so sorry, Abba!

ADAM: Master, I am so sorry, we missed you master…oh my Master. How is it now that we see you God? How can we see you again? Your face? Your hands, familiar, but strange, still you. How can I touch you God?

Jesus kissed Adam, and he kissed Eve, and held their hands, and held each face, like the children they were.

JESUS: Oh my boy. Oh my boy! I missed you. Oh honey, Oh my girl, my little girl. I missed you. Hey, look….You’ve so done well, you both have done so well…keeping your brothers and sisters safe until my arrival. About my hands…I am glad to say…we’ve done something new Son - see honey, I can hold you…and I promise…I will never let go. It’s done now. It’s done. You’re safe. Now, because of all that has happened, I have defeated death, and the grave, and made a way for all flesh, even fallen flesh, back to my Father. This is something new, something better Adam, something better Eve. Do not weep. Even this, and all things, I have redeemed my little lovey, my little buddy.

JESUS (turning to the front, seeing his kin, still holding Adam and Eve): John, oh John. I missed you, cousin.

JOHN (with a smile): Jesus!

Adam and Eve with tears and a smile hold each other, kiss God’s face, and step to the side to let Jesus and John embrace—and they do embrace…a long, good hug.

JESUS (with a coy smile): John, it looks like you’ve done your job.

JOHN (looks around, and back at Jesus, gesturing to the crowd): Yes, Lamb of God, I did my best…to prepare your way.

JESUS (laughing, looking at the great crowd, stepping towards them with his arm around John, gesturing to the crowd): Like one calling out in the wilderness?! Like a madman no doubt!?

The crowd all laughed!

…Then it grew quiet, like something else was supposed to happen.

JOHN (clears his throat, then to the crowd and Christ with a nod): Yes. Remember, just like I said. See you all could even feel yourselves that it was time for this. I’ll start, then your part, just like I said.

John backed up, faced Jesus, raised his hands, and knelt, with his back to the congregation, and in a loud voice said—

JOHN (says while bowing, face to the ground): Worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!

ALL (say while bowing, face to the ground, following John): Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, For by your blood you purchased all of us, all of us for God, and have taken away the sins of the world!

And all stood, men and women from every tribe, nation, and tongue, and began to cheer; a roar the likes of which had not been heard in heaven, or on earth, or beneath the earth since before time immemorial.

Jesus quiets the crowd with a smile and a raised hand - then opens his hands again to Adam and Eve, standing off to the side. They walk to him.

Jesus then takes the hands of his Adam, and his Eve, looks down at each with a smile, and kisses on each on their head, and begins to lead them hand in hand towards the gate.

ADAM: Abba, are we going back?

EVE: Back to Eden? Your garden?

JESUS: No. Well, kind of. I want to show you my city.

And Jesus Christ, the risen God, 
led his Adam and Eve by the hand, 
and all of their descendants 
in a great train to his Holy City, 
so that they could live and dwell 
with God their Father forever
…and they do…
They do, even to this day. 

John prepared their way. 
The Patriarchs saw this day, 
and were glad.

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Today’s reflection is from my Journal this morning, and I really wanted to share it with you because it imparts a special image of our Father that I want to give you.

Key Phrase: “These questions, you shew away with your hand gently, like a storm only in the mind, like a bad dream. And you kneel before us, children that we are…”

To Love you

All the joys, all the hopes, every dream
…all grief, all anxiety, every affliction…
find their meaning 
and final resolution in you,
and you alone, oh King of Kings.

Lord have mercy; have mercy on us,
have mercy on we who call upon your name,
and have mercy on we... 
we who do not know how to call upon you.

Utterless to us is true speech,
So God...let our love reach
let our love, although weak...
let our love reach to you,
and through love may we know you,
for the only way to know you is to love you.

Have mercy on we who you stir daily
...to love you, to find you, to long for you…
and still the anxieties 
of this our restless heart...
through your Divine Embrace.

You who hold us,
ever in your Love.

Distance

….To embrace God is a great gift,
more than any creature can say.

What can a creature say, or do
before the vast array 
of limitless divine energy?

Uncreated and infinite divinity,
terrible to behold,
impossible to perceive;
like the darkness of the storm,
in the midst of a wild sea...

Words mean nothing and are nothing
when from a human mouth 
they are breathed against this wind,
against the infinite canvas 
of your endless surround.

Yet…you teach us not this infinite expanse
…not the vast array of your eternity…
nor the darkness of imperceptible divinity

…For deep darkness is not in you,
nor does it surround you,
but Light - Light?

Yet, how do we, how can we perceive this light?

Mercy

These questions, you shew away with your hand gently, like a storm only in the mind, like a bad dream.

And you kneel before us, children that we are, and you take your hand, and place it beneath yours upon your chest, upon your very own heart,

And you teach us the same. We now take your hand, and place it upon our chest God, beneath our hand, and we hold you tight against our heart….

Then from this place, we hear you say, heart to heart, “Abba. Call me Abba. I am your Abba. And you, you are my Love. And I love you, with all my heart.”

What can we do but respond the same?

“I love you Abba, I love you God.”

Oh God that we would love you! Help me love you!

You are not a sea, you are Abba, you are not darkness unknowing, you are the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, and when we speak your name, we who are your beloved children…your Love responds, all of God responds. The infinite God responds, in specificity. This is to say, Jesus you come.

Our voice is not lost at sea, not drowned out by strong wind, but carried by your Spirit, and upon the waters of our soul you speak…peace, and all is still.

Let our Love Sing to you God.

May we live, ever live, within your divine embrace.

Maranatha

All the joys, all the peace, all hope, every dream comes from this place and leads back into this - your divine embrace.

All grief, all anxiety, every affliction, comes from separation, comes from distance…distance from you Abba. You who love us so dearly, you for whom we were made. You are the missing piece, in every anxious heart.

So come Joy, come peace, come dream, come hope, and make this heart your home.

Jesus Christ, King of Kings, lover of every soul, show us Father God and heal these hearts of stone.

Call back your sons and daughters. Make this heart your home.

I ask for myself, and my friends whom I love - my brothers and sisters, known and unknown. I ask for all you have given me in your creation to care for, to love, and for those known only to you Master. Bring us back to you.

For my reader, 
I share these things because I want the very best life for you; 
the very best life in Christ. 

This is my prayer
and these;
these are my Confessions.

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“What do you mean all that stuff? Do you mean the truth claims? Do you mean the wisdom? Do you mean the stories? What do you not believe?”

“I don’t know, just all that stuff, that stuff about God, that stuff about, you know, everything on the mountain, the voices, yeah the stories, and I don’t know about the wisdom. The world’s a big place. Maybe other people have different opinions.”

“Everything that you do believe, that you find valuable, and that even now you weigh the world against—you have received from me, your father. I taught you according to the traditions of my fathers. Every story I told you is as it happened, and now you come to me and say you do not know whether this is true? What I think the problem is…is that you don’t want to believe because I’m the one that told you. You don’t want to believe because honestly, as your dad, I have let you down many times, and frankly I will again. I am a man, boy. I am not God. The God of our fathers, the God who has been my Shepherd all my lifelong to this day, the God who has been my guardian angel and kept me safe from all evil, the God who has richly blessed me even now with you, my son—this God never fails. He cannot fail.”

The boy was quiet.

“I’m sorry, son. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect father, and I really do mean that. I wish I was better to you and your mother. I wish I did a lot of things differently, and even now I wish that I had some sort of magic words to say that could help you see God as He really is and not just relayed through a father’s stories, the memories of a life lived, but none of this really your own. And Jacob, I get it.”

“So for now, I’m gonna leave you, as my father left me to a certain degree, to discover who God is on your own. And I certainly did. I certainly did.”

At that, Isaac left Jacob beneath the stars and open sky in the plains where their flocks grazed, and Jacob stayed there and learned slowly what it means to meditate, but nothing came.

Two weeks later, after Jacob made a fool of his father not far from this camp, he would rest his head again, and in his dreams, the God of creation would come to him and show him the ladder of divine ascent.

Many years thereafter, Jacob, having remembered his father’s words on this starry night, Jacob would bless the sons of Joseph with much of what he heard from Isaac:

“The God of our fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, God who has been my Shepherd all my lifelong to this very day, the Angel who has protected me from all evil—may He bless you.”

Isaac saw the Lord on the mountain, and the angel of the Lord protected him from harm by holding his father’s hand back. These are precious memories for Isaac, and also traumatic. Isaac knows both what it means to see the Lord, and also to watch a father fail, and bend beneath the burdens that all fathers bear…Isaac has a unique insight into Jacob’s struggle to believe, and his own inability as a father to live up to God’s standards. God’s perfect goodness is hard to believe when mediated through imperfect man, which is why God himself promises to come to each one who calls upon his name, including our little ones.

For context leading into this post, please take a second and re-read these sections:

Genesis 22:1-14 - God tests Abraham by commanding him to sacrifice Isaac.

Genesis 24:62-67 - Isaac goes out “to meditate in the field toward evening” when he sees camels approaching with Rebekah.

Genesis 26:34-35 - Esau’s wives “made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah.”

Genesis 28:10-22 - Jacob has tricked Isaac, leaves, and now dreams of a ladder reaching heaven with angels ascending and descending. Here, God reveals himself as the God of his Fathers, and promises not to leave him.

Genesis 48:15-16 - Jacob blesses Joseph’s sons out from the overflow of ‘Tradition’ as record of God’s appearance in his own life, and the life of his Fathers: “The God of my Fathers, the God who has been my shepherd all my life long to this day, the angel who has redeemed me from all evil, bless the boys.”

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The Setting:

The sun was moving away, and the sky began to grey before the colors set in. I hadn’t left my desk for some time. My head was filled with marketing assets, business dreams, action steps, and planning—all to make money while making a difference, ideally.

Working on my businesses I know is good, but in too much surplus, even the good tasks of business rob my mind of coherence and my wife of her husband’s attention, and our life’s balance. I was overloaded after a long day’s work, so it was time for a walk—a brief walk.

When my son Ambrose, who is five years old, heard that I was about to head out and go on a walk, he really wanted to come too, which is a blessing.

As my kids get older, I want to bring them as much as I can; I’m losing time. My oldest is 10, and over these years I’ve learned that, no matter what is going on in my mind, no matter the struggles in my life, walking with them is the best use of my time.

I want to share a short story with you about something my boy said on our walk. I have not yet figured out all its implications, but I’m curious to see what you see in his answer to one of my questions:

“Buddy, if you were like Superman, what would you do?”.

The Walk:

We saw two white crosses and two white bicycles on the side of the street where we were going to cross, on the way home, near mile 2.

This memorial led us to talk about what those items mean, that a parent and child had died, and that some drivers are not safe, and that we need to look both ways before we cross the street. That is a normal fatherly segue.

Then, as is natural for a little boy when speaking of danger, my son also started talking about fighting bad guys. That is a normal 5-year-old segue.

After I talked a bit with him about being smart and not fighting when we’re little, but getting away and getting help, there came a point in the conversation where he looked up at me, with a fun smile and said, “What would you do, Dad?”

“Well, when you grow up, you’ll know that you have to be careful. Sometimes people have guns and weapons and are not very nice, so part of being a daddy is learning how to avoid those situations, and of course, if need be, daddies fight.”

He likes this answer. He wants to fight, and I didn’t realize exactly why until about 30 seconds later.

Dad: “Ok buddy, you get my lesson though, right? Don’t fight now, learn to get away and get help, right?”

Son: “Yes, I get it.”

Dad: “Oh great! Now, let’s have fun. What if you were like Superman and you had laser vision and you could just laser the bullets from a bad guy?”

Son: “Oh yeah! If I had laser vision, like laser eyes, I could even cut the gun in half.”

Dad: “Oh yeah, buddy! What if you were like Superman and you were so fast you could run up to the bad guy so fast and just take his gun?”

Son: “Yeah! And if YOU were like Superman, you could fight big giant aliens, like these big dragons and water dragons and fire dragons.”

Dad: “Oh yeah, that’d be fun, huh?! Where do you think those dragons are from, buddy? Are they from another planet?”

Son: “Hmmmm...I don’t know.”

Then I asked him, my little son, “Buddy, if you were like Superman, what would you do?”

With a shy, precious smile, holding my hand, he looked up at me and said,

“I would want to fight the monsters with you, Dad.”

He likes the idea of fighting, because it means fighting alongside his dad. He’s not overwhelmed. He’s not afraid.

This really made me think, for a couple days.

My Thoughts:

“I want to fight the monsters with you, Dad.”

Where have I lost the vision of fighting alongside my father? I am overwhelmed at times. Certainly while I look to pursue a good future, knowing that all my efforts could come to naught makes me afraid.

“I want to fight the monsters with you, Dad.”

I think that’s a gentle line, but has the potential, in a profound way, to re-order my heart towards the good fight, and rebalance my vision.

I can look at my business, and all my endeavors, as my fight. 
I can look at all the marketing assets, dreams, action steps, and planning 
as my way of pushing forward the light.

But I am not in myself the light.

All the warring is good, but too much in surplus, 
because I am a child, 
robs my mind of the rest and coherence 

that you, oh Father, want to provide.

What if I, patterned after the answer of my little boy, re-approach my Abba and say to him instead:

“This is your fight. I am your little boy. Help me grow. Over time, teach me to fight the monsters with you, Dad.”

If I lived with an awareness of presence, and of mission, and in the knowledge that He will see His victory won, what levels of freedom and joy could I experience, simply walking with my Father in His garden, in the cool of the day - and calling that living?

Could I learn to help the world live by living naturally with God? Could I learn to help it breathe, and with my Father, enjoy its beauty?

If anything in here helps you, praise God. 

I want the best life for you. 
The very best life in Christ.

As always,

This is my prayer, 
and these, 
these are my confessions.

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The content coming your way—through the app and the emails I’ll send to keep things focused and organized—will range from special texts from the Bible, my personal notes, patristic commentary, linguistic insights, art, prayers, and journal entries. It will all be real, from my real life, and honestly, I will share with you everything that has been most useful to me.

Second Things:

Many of you may know that I have, at this point, thousands of entries across 11 journals, published a book, completed my Philiokalia (personal testimony), and I am now on the road to completing The Confessions of a Christian Salesman: A Philosophy for Life.

I plan on sharing the best that I have, over time, with everyone that I can.

For good reason, I feel that the only way I can begin to write the second half of my book, A Philosophy for Life, is by re-reading the entire Bible—and perhaps 1-2 other books from Augustine as well. I need to read, finally away from the academic lens (valuable as it is and has been), and learn again just to worship Him on every page, our God, my friends. I need to remember how to just worship and let Him be as He is. These are mysteries. I am learning how to do this, and I want to share as I go.

How can I write “a philosophy”—which means “a love of wisdom,” and in my context, “a love of wisdom and life”—if I do not know He who is Holy Wisdom Himself?

To write a philosophy without being in the love and knowledge of the One who alone grants both life and wisdom would be a terrible mistake.

So, I need to read, but read in a different way that I have discovered over time.

If you know me well, you know that I don’t actually read—well, not in the traditional sense. I practice a type of reading which starts with your basic “reading,” sure. But then I take out all the best things I have found in those books and reduce them down into lines that carry special meaning for me. I collect all of these, and then from them I write master essays or master syntheses, and at the end of those processes = a complete work.

A Philosophy for Life, I believe, cannot be written until I have gone through His Word again—but now as if for the first time—and gathered everything I find in there and synthesized it in a confession to our God, searching to “love Him well” through every page read and every page written, and indeed, over time, through a life lived while reading, while writing.

My journaling method is typically where the “mundane” meets “divine things.” You know I have a business selling insurance, finance, and other things. We all have jobs. What I found I needed to do in my life is never separate my work from His presence, if that makes sense. I couldn’t survive doing life any other way, and this I learned, indeed, the hard way—those who know me know.

So, the content coming your way—through the app and the emails I’ll send to keep things focused and organized—will range from special texts from the Bible, my personal notes, patristic commentary, linguistic insights, art, prayers, and journal entries. It will all be real, from my real life, and honestly, I will share with you everything that has been most useful to me.

Before Christ our God, I want the very best life in Jesus for you, and all my efforts are directed to that end.

This is going to be my sign-off, probably, going forward, by the way:

As always, I want the very best life for you.
The very best life in Christ.

This is my prayer,
And these,
These are my confessions.

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This is where it comes from:

Florilegium - it means bouquet (gotta love the way the french spell).

In the old world, people would go around and gather together the most beautiful flowers they could find, and then actually sell those - typically. Good business. Why? Well, they made money while also making everyone else’s reality beautiful, and they also made their own world beautiful at the same time - great trades.

I also can’t help but see this medieval young woman (Germanic - think sound of music), walking through the meadow on her way home. She’s stopped in her tracks, takes one small step to re-balance, and peers to the far treeline at the edge of the forest. As she approaches, she sees a flower, golden-yellow and blue hues, radiant in the sun. It is in a patch, so she knows that she can take just one back and show the rest of her friends, so she does.

How is Florilegium the best way to learn? Do by analogy what people used to do with flowers.

Gather beautiful flowers (insights), walk with eyes open, expect to find amazing things in this wide world, and if you can in some way capture its image or form (sketch, record, photograph, write), then pluck sustainably, and show your friends.

This is literally how everything good was found or discovered, even eureka means “I found it” in Greek.

If all you do is collect, you will learn a lot. However, what makes florilegium the best way to learn is actually not just in the gathering, but in the arrangement and the sharing function.

Gather all the most beautiful things you can find, and think about those things as deeply as you can - yes! But, then if you somehow capture (pluck) why that something is beautiful and how it reminds you of other beautiful and useful things (arrangement), and then publish that work (share it), over time - that’s the gold.

Think about it - Now, any time someone asks you about a topic you have written about, you have personal knowledge, and a personal story and connection to those ideas. This is the opposite of imposter syndrome, and a road to true mastery because everything you have learned, you have learned, by living and sharing.

The limit of your life and the limit of your true knowledge, your true mastery, is the limit of your sharing.

But, beyond knowledge and learning and sharing, because this method is literally gathering beauty in your life, if your living and learning is vast, so is the beauty in your life, by definition…and the beauty that you can help bring to others’ lives, that’s endless, when you live in this way.

You have stopped to see the flowers, again and again, and they have made you, and those around you, better over time.

This is the method that I am looking to practice here in my substack and on all my social media platforms. I want to gather all the most beautiful and useful things I can find, and share them with you. That means my content is indeed, my life’s content. That also means that I don’t really have a target audience or a strategy other than sharing what is ‘actually’ helping me and is useful, and if it’s beautiful and valuable to me, over time, I assume it will be beautiful and valuable to others (shared nature and all that).

Because of my passions and interests and background in Christian Theology, and Christian Practice, pretty much everything I write will be done with God on the mind, or to Him, because, indeed, he is the source of the beauty that we see, and the move is therefore natural to talk to him about the things we find in his great green earth.

So, if you’re hungry, like I am, for God-ward meditations and movements meant to talk about the beauties in this life, that are not click-bait, nor meant to be, but rather bouquets, I want to welcome you not only to the Confessions of a Christian Salesman, but also to interact with me. Dialogue in the way of beauty, and let’s work together to make this world, indeed, a better and more beautiful place. In the end, I want the best life for you my friend, the very best life in Christ.

Now and always.

This is my prayer,

and these,

these are my Confessions

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Great are you Lord, and greatly to be praised. Since the days of my youth, you have called me into your Love. This should surprise no one, nor shock a single Christian reader. For, they who have met you indeed are given eyes to see their entire life as a story of your pursuit God - God in search of Man, yet not just Man but the one you know by name, the one for whose sake you left the 99.

Oh Master, to be a Christian is to see one’s life!

Yet, now with eyes to see the truth: you pursue us each, and send the hounds of heaven, oh God of heaven’s armies, so that your sons, your daughters would be freed from their bondage in the camp of the enemy.

I write to you, for your own sake God, because you have earned my worship, and freed this heart of mine.

I write to you, because in some mystery, you also desire friendship with me, and this is one way that I have set my heart to respond to your tender mercy, and compassion in my life.

I write to you, my friend and God, saying ‘Yes’ to all that you are to me…in response, with all of me I say yes.

I write for them who, being found in your love do not yet know how to look at their life through heaven’s eyes.

God of all creation - neither can I see through Heaven’s eyes.

Yet you have recalled me to your sacred page, upon which the heavens write, and you have called me to a style of reading and gathering the most beautiful things I find in a way that indeed beautifies the life: Florilegium.

So, I have set in my heart to understand your word, as best as I can, and write to you, and then publish what I find.

I write with the knowledge that I will publish what is real in my life, that many sons and daughters would be made alive, in your mercy.

There is much I do not know, but in my 33 years I have learned 1 thing: it is never an error to Worship the Living God. Even our weakest ‘yes’, even mine here and elsewhere, you strengthen and build upon in your grace. These then are my plans God, in response to your pursuit of my heart: I will read your scriptures, and the Fathers, and other beautiful things, and I will write.

I write to worship you, my friend, my God. And, because you are kind, I write to help my brothers and sisters and the lost ones all see again their Father as He is: God of mercy, not afraid to Die, you purchased me, and I am yours forever.

This is my prayer,

and these,

these are my Confessions.

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